3 Minute Countdown

(Tick, tock)
The day has been long
And hard
The end of it is near
But end of work is not even close
Work that no one but you will know
Whether it gets done
Or the dream naps
 Another day.

---

It started out grinning, bright and shiny-nosed
This day
Armed with affirmations
And
Creative visualizations
You set out into the wide blue world
Buoyed by bubbles of hope and expectation

(Tick, tock)
And it’s ending with a pile of, “no’s”
No money
No experience
No interest
No clicks
Just no.

(Tick, tock)
They all bleed together, these no’s
Into a greyish-green puddle of blues
Oh, does the T.V. look good right about now
The oh so reasonable, soft syllabled voices start explaining things to you.

(Tick, tock)
“Is it this really necessary?”
“Aren’t other people doing the same?”
“It wouldn’t be bad to readjust your expectations.
There’s no loss of honor in it.”
“It’s okay,” they say
“You’ll tackle it tomorrow, next week or in a month, or . .”
“ or  when you’re prepared and have thought things through.”
“when you’re ready and have more support.”
“When it’s time and you have . . .”
“And you’ve only seen this episode twice”
“And you’re not quitting, really you’re not”
“You just, ideating
Yes,
Just letting things coalesce”
“Why don’t you just . . .”
“There you go,
That’s it.
Just . . .”

(Tick, tock)
(Tick, tock)
(Tick.)

(Tock.)
And you don’t, somehow
Do the thing that’s so sweetly easy.
As your finger hovers over the mouse
In that fertile space between
LinkedIn introductions
and Netflix
A wild and rowdy spirit of hope
Possesses your hands
Compelling them to type,
Happy, chirpy greetings
To people you’re sure won’t care.
And you send them off.
And as you look for your next victim
And write, “Hello!”
And then . . .
​
(Ding, ding, ding!)
The universe’s alarm clock begins ringing
Signaling the start of miracles
Weaving throughout your life
It might be small, these miracles
In fact, that’s almost a given (almost)
But they come,
They really do
If you do without expecting and wait without thought of ending
These petite blessings
They show up
Like hostas breaking through the snow
The returned call
The notice from PayPal
Announcing that you have funds
And it’s as if one emboldens the next,
They start spilling together,
Like popcorn
After the pan is hot enough
Little pops of miracles
That turn into the steady beat
Of a new, more prosperous rhythm
Thrumming through your life.

xoviandrew at Pixabay